when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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