I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
