your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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