dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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