i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
