dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
