So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
