the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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