im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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