Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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