You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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