yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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