dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
