god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
