Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
