her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
