I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
