You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
