now i know why i became what i already was.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
