She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
