His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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