Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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