i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
