Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
