I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's always time for handjobs
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
