Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
