Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
