hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
