i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
