just come out here and I will go home with you...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
