One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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