You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
