Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
