I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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