like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
