it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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