i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
