just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
