Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
