Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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