hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
