That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
