Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I need moral support for this bender
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
