This dress was meant to end up on your floor
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im holly from the hills drunk
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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