The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
