He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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