Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
