gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
