He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
