So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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