so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Four minutes until I can fart!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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