hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she told me i tasted like america
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
